On the Deification of an Object

JesusPhone

JesusPhone


I count myself amongst the hoi-polloi that didn’t get an iPhone 4 at launch day a week ago. It has been interesting to watch my reactions since then. I felt, and still feel, insulted to be withheld this gadget I had been looking forward to since the day it was announced. Telekom (formerly T-mobile) had done me a great wrong not to consider my humble request for the holy grail of smartphones. They had botched the distribution process for the rare commodity of the first batch of iPhone 4s. Like other faithful of the Apple religion, I had piously made the journey to the local fount of design exuberance twice. Once for the reservation, and then again for the day of the revealing. But the source was dry.
From afar came messages that heaped insult upon injury. The Teleclergy were granting the objects of my desire to novices of the Apple cult, disregarding the merits of the nerds that had already known Mac OS 9. There even were rumors of distribution orgies at the Telekom flagship store in the moloch Berlin.
In the days since, I could not come upon a Telecomedian without white-hot anger rising in me and bitter words spewing from my mouth. I slink along the fringes of mobile society and ashamedly tap on my old iPhone 3G’s screen. It has gotten sluggish with a case of iOS 4.
I want my preciousssss!

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